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Change, transition, the unknown… These are not scary words to me.  Typically, I love the death and resurrection of self, the ambition of a new adventure, the synchronicities that occur and propel my life magically forward.  It’s a potion that makes me come alive.  The unknown is my jam!! When accompanied with chronic fatigue, however, I am learning the unknown is NOT my jam.  It is indeed a graceless jar of shit that tastes like poodley oodley on burnt toast.  The unknown married with fatigue means all bets… are… OFF.   

When I’m tired, I get ANGRY.  I get accusatory.  I tell God and his minion helpers (who so lovingly give me sign after sign that everything is going to be okay, and IS okay) to fuck off and fuck themselves, fuck the cats, fuck the dog, fuck the wallpaper, fuck my camera, fuck my computer, fuck that person, fuck those people, FUCK EVERYONE, fucking fuck the fucking fucks!!! Which is… ahem… concerning.  

I have to keep myself from throwing the cats out the window.  I have to cement myself to the chair when the garbage truck rumbles up right as my daughter is falling asleep. (I do this so as not to stab the driver in the throat with this pen that feels like MY ONE TRUE FRIEND).  Soooo much love for others… 

I’m not my best self when I’m tired.  I know this.  When the doctor told me I had chronic fatigue, I was like– ‘DUH!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! FUCK DOCTORS!!!’  

But when I put the brakes on… take a moment to recompose and breathe… OF COURSE, I don’t like feeling like my real self is disappearing or getting lost in the fatigue and mundane of motherhood day to day.  This isn’t who I want to be– for me, for my husband or for my daughter!

And love for self?  OOF.  I can’t even go there right now. 

Surprisingly, I only recently put this two and two together– that being shaken when handling transition during the worst fatigue of your life is not only a new normal but it’s pretty freakin’ understandable!!  It might take a little time to find your magic, girlfriend!  Feeling like a shit pile because I’ve been unable to ground myself, and find comfort in those roots that steady me to the center of the earth and back, I have been beating myself up for the shell that I inhabit.   It’s good to be reminded this isn’t easy.  It’s a deepening of the lesson plan to get me to a new place, which given the day can be totally annoying or exciting… or really, really annoying. 😉 

Rather than beat myself up (or beat up the people/animals/entities around me that love me), I’m focusing on the following…

I won’t always live in a dark house.

Where I live won’t always be decorated with animal heads and fishing reel wallpaper.

I won’t always live on this little sleep. 

The cats won’t always be indoor cats.

The Small Dog won’t always be so jealous or needy.

We won’t always make bupkis money.

Ruby won’t always wake up through the night.

She won’t always need me to feed her, etc. 

I don’t know what’s to come but I know that this time is temporary and I’m doing my best to allow myself a little grace.  What more can I expect on two hours of sleep a night?  

I know there’s a deeper meaning to all of this, lessons I can take from this aside from ‘parenthood= lack of sleep.’ What is the dialogue that runs through my head when I can’t sleep at four in the morning?  What do I tell myself when I look in the mirror?  What are the first thoughts that come to mind when my red eyes are bulging like a Disney villain?  Is that reality or have I also been listening to the worst version of myself while running the worst dialogue? For the love of God, is ANY of it loving??? 

Nothing at all against the word ‘fuck–‘ a good swear can be a grossly satisfying relief when the need to express frustration feels like sickness.  But here’s hoping a deep breathe or two can give me just enough awareness to add some softer words to my vocabulary. I haven’t used ‘shit’ in a while?  Ha! It seems almost godly in comparison to what’s been coming out of my mouth!

*Deep breath*

Here’s to GRACE… Here’s to BREATH…  and Here’s to BECOMING. xoxo

 

 

MONEY. The four letter word so bad it’s five letters. Money fears are always the f*ckers to our authenticity and manifestation, aren’t they?

This has been an educating and eye opening transition for me being a stay at home mom.  On one hand, I’m always with my daughter which is exhausting but wonderful.  I would absolutely hate being away from her, having to work full time right now.  On the other hand, not having an income– especially not having my own income, has been challenging and scary. Then, the third part of my current conundrum is having this intense desire to create. I have 1,249,823 projects I want to work on that require time, energy and money.  No big!  😉  

I’ll be frank, I zero percent want to go back to work right now.  My body still feels wrecked (which I’m working on), I’m up with our daughter all night (four month sleep regression is a THANG), I’m exhausted all the time, and I know to work on weekends will totally wipe out all reserves.  

I don’t ‘sleep when the baby sleeps,’  I ‘hustle when the baby sleeps.’  I bake, I take photos, write blogs, edit photos, watch tutorials… I am always working.  I am always learning.  I’m not creating because of all of this magical downtime I have, I am MAKING. IT. HAPPEN. in between burps and diaper changes, or at midnight after she’s asleep.

So to spend my ‘hustle time’ working for someone else at an unfulfilling job means I won’t have the time or energy to create (which in itself is a life force sucker), and that– truth be told–  scares the shit out of me. Not because I think my inner artist will shrivel up and die, turning quickly into a depress case (though been there, done that) but because if I don’t start these projects now, will I ever have the perfect circumstances to start them?  Time is a commodity. It’s like paying rent versus the investment of a mortgage.  People that are successful food bloggers are successful now because they put in years of blogging.  Most YouTubers are able to monetize because they have years of videos under their belt winning subscribers not because they have five.  I don’t want to be 65 just having started things. The sooner I start, the sooner the pay off.  Hence, the hustle. You get what I’m putting down?

I know society can be a judgmental, know-it-all biotch.  “If you can’t pay your bills, suck it up and get a job. It’s called being an adult. You do what you have to do for your children. You made the choice to have kids.”  And to an extent, there is totally truth to that!  Sometimes, a person might need to get a job that feels like dying (our grocery store is hiring) to remind yourself that you’re responsible and capable of making money.  It feels good to pay your bills and to be able to afford things.  This makes sense to me as I’ve been spending beyond my means (the whole no income thing).  Money is a karmic lesson I get a lot because I continue to spend.  So, maybe we’re relearning a little somethin’ somethin’ here…

On the flip side, sometimes you have to say no to certain money making opportunities (our grocery store is hiring) because it’s time to believe you’re worth more than a job you hate. That idea is part of an old program or your history. You’ve paid your dues and learned your lessons. Your back doesn’t have to break anymore. You CAN have a job you love. Believe in YOU. Or as Johann Wolfgang von Goethe says: “At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you.”

Sometimes ‘suck it up’ individuals are exceptional at paying bills but can kinda, sorta, really, totally suck at life. Ha! They can sometimes be lifeless or totally unhappy, martyr-and-victim parental units that are dying inside thinking there’s only one way to do life. I promised myself at the start of this child rearing shindig, that I was going to do this different. I don’t believe my life’s purpose is to solely raise my daughter. I believe my life’s purpose is to create, live an authentic life and brings something decent and lovely to the planet as best I can.  It is what makes me feel energized– whole and complete, nurtured and nurturing. And in part FOR my daughter, she’ll hopefully learn through my example she is allowed a fullfulling life as well, and that good things don’t just happen to other people.

So what do you do when your heart and intuition are telling you to create and start these projects but your bank account is saying get a part time job and do the responsible thing? It’s a confusing spiritual merry go round. Personally, for reasons of my own doing, I have both been burned and blessed by stepping out in faith. 

I have waited too long to do the responsible karmic thing and gone into debt without being grounded in reality.  I’ve also passed up lucrative jobs, only to have my aunt email me randomly about a job in the mountains that finally felt right.  I had to borrow money from my sister to move to Mazama to start a life I know I was destined to live.  Hardly responsible. Totally in line with everything I am. And let me tell you, the fine line between those two situations for me right now is the confusing reality between getting knocked on the head in Kansas and having the courage to walk the Yellow Brick Road.  Ha! One is a black and white reality. The other is a vibrant and colorful dream.  And neither is necessarily right or wrong.

This week I dropped my sis off at the bus station down the mountain in San Bernardino.  I was angry and frustrated that I’ve been feeling in limbo.  I felt utterly hopeless, confused. There were some tears.  Did I mention angry?  Anyway, I stopped at one of the turnoffs to have some words with my guides and angels.  For whatever reason, my honesty and the view felt empowering.  The ‘in between’ of manifestation can totally suck (hello, we’re human after all!) but there has always been something incredible on the other end of it when I commit to it.  The mountains reminded me of that.  

The current state of affairs:  I will not apply at the grocery store but I did apply at the local movie theater.  I will reach out to the local tavern about working weekends but specifically for karaoke night (y’all I love my karaoke). I reached out to local photographers to see if they needed weekend help during wedding season because I’ve been dying to have the opportunity to start shooting weddings.  (At the very least, to see if I’d like it).  I’ve reached out to LA headshot photographers to see if they’d be willing to take on apprentices because I would be sooo happy to learn new things.  

I’ve continued to upload images to Shutterstock for some down the road chump change.  I’ve been baking and blogging. I submitted to the Food Network for their baking championship shows. I look for interesting jobs on Craigslist.  I will reach out to local businesses to see if they need food photographs for their websites or menus (which also means I’m working on a photography website).  Our house is on the market in Mazama and I remind myself without attachment to outcome, it could sell at any time.  Weaving, what feels in my soul, like a positive and healthy tapestry… 

I have no idea how this all plays out but I know that it does.  The ‘in between’ is hard, scary and feels impossible but it’s my choice. I know I get to decide to take forty steps back into an old box of possibility or stick to what feels good in an exciting and responsible way.  I know it’ll be in perfect timing and can imagine how utterly grateful and ecstatic I’ll feel later as I can see how the stars aligned.  

And when I am on the other side of this… as a current basket case with sleepless rage tendencies?  I’ll be sure to laugh when people say things just work out for me because I’m a naturally positive person.  Ummm… yeah.  The earful the mountains got would say I’m a total Florence Henderson right here.  😉

We get a choice, friends. Here’s hoping the mountains remind you, too.  xoxo

 

 

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As you know, Lliam and I have had a rollercoaster couple of months relocating to California.  However, when all is said and done, we’ve been able to manifest all of our needs in a timely manner, to the point that a couple of people have reached out to me about manifestation.  I haven’t had a whole lot of time to respond (we’re nine months now, people- ahhh!!!).  I was listening to a podcast today that summed up beautifully what it takes to shift one’s life and thought I’d quickly share some of the morsels as they’ve been good reminders for me this morning with an ‘impossible’ list of to do’s…
 
This is Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith (paraphrased) on Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations…
 
Here we go (I love this):
 
“At the end of the day, if you’re complaining more than you’re talking about your vision, then you’re in inertia. There is a shift that takes place where you’re actually talking more about the possibilities than you’re talking about your issues. You’re not denying the issues, it is the energy that you give to it.
 
Questions to ask yourself: 
WHAT IF…  all my needs were met, what would I be doing in my life?
 
WHAT IF… everything is working together for my good?
 
WHAT IF…  all the bad things that have happened in my life are leading me to some great potential in my experience?
 
WHAT IF… God really is on my side?  The more you ask these questions, the more you start to see the little miracles.”  
 
Truth. From my own experiences, there are two morsels I’d like to add to this.  The first, is to say ‘stick with it.’ Good things start happening and two seconds later when it’s not ‘our answer,’ not big enough or doesn’t happen fast enough, we go straight to #FML, ‘I’m cursed,’ or ‘That must be nice for them.’ Straight back to inertia. Possibility and hope are everything, and you really have to dive in fiercely and be immersed in it.  It’s a life change of thought.  It’s not winning the lottery in one scratch off. That is why I listen to inspiring podcasts daily, read books, let quotes marinate, etc.  Whatever inspires me, is my focus for as much of my day as is possible.  
 
The second part is that no matter what happens in life… no matter WHAT… I do my best to approach it with gratitude every time.  Some days are better than others, of course– I allow myself humanity, but at the end of the day, any situations or feelings that are icky, when things don’t work out– to me– are the angels looking out for me.   I’m being protected from a path that doesn’t serve me.  Or possibly, there is a lesson to be learned here.  What energy did I bring to the table to make this happen?  And if shit just happens (because it does sometimes), how do I surrender these feelings?  What energy do I bring to this situation to keep my vibration high? Nothing has to be the end of the world.  Nothing.  We truly decide… in every… single… situation. Big or small. 
 
One example is our current rental.  We miraculously manifested a rental for exactly what we could afford, through one of Lliam’s co-workers like we imagined, and it has two bedrooms which we really needed for visitors once the baby arrives.  It allowed for our animals. It’s pretty big and has an oven with a griddle on it!  (I TOTALLY manifested that griddle… I’ve been talking to Lliam about a stove with a griddle since I saw the movie ‘Chef’ and worked as a line cook. Can you say Cubanos and Pancakes!!???)  It  fills all of our needs. 
 
Is our living situation perfect?  Um… nooooo. It is truly a ‘Sportsman’s Lodge.’  My dad’s dream.  My worst nightmare.  😉  There are deer heads, boar heads, bear skins, green carpeting– everything has a pattern.  Lliam spent an entire week pretty much dealing with overflowing plumbing issues. (And let me tell you, a pregnant lady needs a bathroom!!)  It’s also very dark inside.  There are no marble countertops, no shiplap, no HGTV white walls and bright light, etc. For the most part, our ‘forever home,’ everything I was meditating on and manifesting while we were packing our bags in Washington, isn’t where we’re currently living by a long shot.  
 
So.  Do I #FML?  Hate everything I hate every moment of my day?  Compare my life with those of others? I have moments of of it, for sure!  This is usually where I laugh off when people say, “Everything just works out for you.”  But to stay in a ‘lack mentality’ manifests nothing. And there is SO MUCH to be grateful for!!  And so much DOES work out for us! I mean, hello, that griddle alone makes me insanely happy.  We are safe.  We are being taken care of.  We have rooms for guests. It is cost effective for us.  It is roomy. We have a fireplace.  We have nice, goofy neighbors.  We have crazy ass stories to tell Baby Soul and you best believe, we’ll look back on this place and laugh.  There IS a charm to that and I AM super grateful! 
 
AND… it doesn’t mean we’re not manifesting our ‘Already Fixer-Upped’  (or something).  When I dream big I always end my affirmation with… “or something better.”  For whatever reason (financially this makes a lot of sense to me), this is is our ‘something better’ for right now.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  I believe that whole-heartedly. I still dream big for that jetted tub and deep kitchen sink… *swoon*  But never in lack, always in gratitude. 
 
Another example… Last night I couldn’t find my driver’s license.  Ready to pop out a baby at any time, behind on pretty much all of my ‘to do’s’ isn’t the time you want to be dealing with an out of state lost license.  Not to mention, with pregnancy brain, I couldn’t for the life of me remember where I could have had it.  We had to get a bunch of important documents copied but I know the printer returned everything.
 
So I did what I could do.  I searched for it.  I thought hard (probably pulled my groin in the process). I began to google what I would have to do to get another one and began to panic. Was just about to crumble and point fingers at everything and everyone when the awareness kicked in.  Freaking out wouldn’t help.   But asking for what I need and letting it go, always does. Instead I mentally said, “Angels, this CAN be easy. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.  I am asking you to find my license.  I’m letting it go.”  
 
A minute later, I had the idea to ask Lliam if it somehow got stuck in HIS passport before I gave it back to him. And it did.  Coincidence?  Sure.  Maybe.  But nah… Because this stuff happens to me all the time.  Not because I’m special but because I know to let it go.  (Another key– asking without expectation so desperation and ‘lack’ aren’t attached). What if it didn’t show up?  Rather than dread trips to the DMV and driving around San Bernardino exhausted and angry, I would focus on the process of getting a new card being insanely easy.   
 
So there you have it… A few ideas and thoughts to let resonate this morning.  Obviously, it’s not the whole gamut on manifestation, but its things that have found its way into my very human psyche this morning and I hope it helps you as much as it does me.  🙂
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yesterday was a long day.  I got up early, meditated, packed bags, ran errands, drove up the mountains, made calls, texted contacts, made plans for Thanksgiving, met up with a realtor, looked at some houses, lost my wallet, went to lunch, met up with my honey, had a meeting with our lender, miraculously managed to get to the cabin that was gifted to us for the night without barfing, more calls and texts, unpacked bags.  Then, I found my wallet.  In a fog of severe ‘pregnancy brain,’  I had managed to zip my wallet into my make-up bag thinking it was my purse.   Yikes. Just one day of many…

Remember when I used to bake and take photos?  Was that a dream?

When we got to the cabin, we were absolutely exhausted and feeling a bit down and out.  While so much has happened, and happened in our favor in a very short amount of time, truly none of it has felt easy.  Lliam was able to find work quickly and started his job last week.  Still without a place to live, he has been car camping while I have been visiting my sis in San Diego.  Yesterday was the first we’d seen each other in a week.  With all that’s going on, it felt like a lifetime.

Talking to the lender was both encouraging and disappointing.  She’s totally awesome… But with one income, we are prequalified for about 46 cents, and 54 cents if we can come up with a $4-6k down payment.  She had a lot of fantastic suggestions and she definitely wants to get us a house in a financially healthy way.  But to jump through a million hoops again, as we’ve already done with the DMV, doctors, health clinics, contacting the IRS for W2’s, etc, finding co-borrowers and taking loans from friends sounded exhausting last night and felt hopeless.  Two steps forward, two steps back.  Needless to say, when we got to the cabin, Lliam and I snuggled the hell out of each other. 

This morning when Lliam left for work I said, “Honey, I’m glad you’re my husband, okay?”  My ‘cute’ way of saying that I loved and appreciated him.  “Oh, that’s so nice,” he says back.  A moment later he pops his head back in and says, “Sweetie, I’m so proud you’re my wife.”

I’m not sure why– because we’re pretty respectful and sweet to each other all the time, but the comment plinko-ed it’s way to the bottom of my heart and warmly made its home there.  My husband is proud of me.  All 846 pounds of pregnant, invalid me– swollen thighs, ass like a barn door, wife that can’t walk more than a block due to joint pain in my knees, that gets carsick every single time we drive up the mountain (despite him driving slow), and can’t contribute financially because car camping in my third bladder-filled trimester feels like death… And yet, he doesn’t just love me, he’s proud of me. (WHY???) But I am also soooo proud of him!!!  The man he is, who he is choosing to be.  How much he cares about this family and works hard for us. The way he rubs my belly excitedly and asks, “How are my girls!?” 

This morning it made me think of the Jack/Rebecca relationship in the NBC show, ‘This Is Us.’  The couple with triplets that has absolutely no idea what is going on but trusts everything will be okay because they believe in their love.  Lliam and I are very different characters on our hit show, but our love and commitment to each other is the same.  Or, in a song I wrote and blubbered through on our wedding day… ‘It’s a life I trust because it’s us.’  It got me thinking so hard about how I’ve been feeling and ultimately, about the love around us.

Every day I wake up in fear and anxiety. There are tears and panic.  I want answers now.  It truly is a daily unveiling– a moment by moment surrender. And we signed up for that.  I can handle it because we felt led to move here. There are such amazing lessons and growth in this and I truly believe we will feel unstoppable, in many ways, forever after.

But when this faith and these lessons, comes at the expense and generosity– and continued generosity— of friends and family, the clock ticks and my stomach turns.  Hey angels! Can’t we move this along for their sake?  It is their burden and mine.  It is the heaviest weight I carry and a guilt I drag behind me.  I know this is a tragic attitude in manifesting a place to live so I do my best to surrender this thought as well. 

Instead, I meditate. I listen to Christmas music. I remember the holiday season is upon us and that I decide what the holidays mean to me. I stay proactive for the sake of taking action.  I say no to the friends I moved here for and instead rest as much as I can. I let myself feel what I need to feel in order to keep my spirits up and vibration high. I realize that ‘This is Us’ isn’t one couple’s love story.  It’s not about one family.  ‘This is Us’ is about ALL of us.  

When I let go of the guilt, I am able to see the real story…   I watch my friends become innkeepers, saying yes to the Christmas story in their own way.  (Less Messiah, more Baby Soul.)  When I told my sis I might have to give birth in a stable, she texted me that she had hay, a variety of animals and even an astrologer present to chart the stars for my visit.  Ha! 

We eat bagels and drink iced tea at Starbucks from the $100 gift card given to me by a friend and angel in Mazama.  $200 in cash for our trip, lovely cards and a Mazama onesie for our little girl! I stay at various faux ‘Airbnbs’– apartments, cabins… every day we have a place to stay. A server being overly kind because I don’t notice until I’m back in the car that my eyes are red.  Lliam’s church gifting us a carseat/stroller combination. Friends of friends that offer a slew of baby items I haven’t even begun to think about yet.  (Oh right, we’re having a baby…)  I feel the angels rejoice like its Christmas…

For months I’ve had that goofy song ‘We are Santa’s Elves’ from Rudolph in my head and had no idea why.  I realize the lesson on this journey might actually have nothing to do with what I manifest in faith. It’s soooo not about me. It has everything to do with seeing the world with new eyes– that Demagorgans at the DMV aren’t truth or reality.  Instead, that kindness and acts of beauty in the world exist now more than ever in humanity.  In goodness, we’re all connected. It’s a planet full of Santa’s Helpers. 

This thought is still a work in progress, maybe… But at the very least, I’m grateful to recognize my friends, family and the world around me, in the below clip…  When you have a world this cute and so excited to help, what’s not to be grateful for?  Makes me want to put on some elf ears and get to work because this?  THIS is us. 

 

With a baby on the way, my husband and I moved to California two weeks ago to be closer to friends and family for support.  While folks from the Methow Valley in Washington are posting photos of beloved snowy adventures, we are looking for jobs and a place to live seven months pregnant while crashing with friends in sunny SoCal.  (Psssh, no big).  😉 

 This was my last contribution as the weekly Mazama Valley Life Columnist for The Methow Valley News. Two weeks into our new adventure, revisiting this column was a reminder to continue to trust and embrace the adventure before us.  The column was originally published in The Methow Valley News October 18, 2017. 

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It was 2013 and I had just moved back to Los Angeles. I had been there about a month, interviewing for various General Manager positions with a recruiter.  Sitting in traffic for an hour and a half on the 405, contemplating the very last of my savings, however, I kept turning down work as none of these positions felt right.  Truthfully, I didn’t want to be a General Manager.  I wanted to make a living but I also wanted a life. 
 
I went for a walk that night to let go of my fear, listening to a lecture on manifestation, being in gratitude for the deep pinks that burst out of the Pasadena shrubs, the orange trees and sounds of the breeze— my friend’s family that was letting me stay in their guesthouse.  I had nothing but I had so much to be grateful for.
 
When I returned home there was an email from my aunt: “Why move back to Los Angeles when you can move to the middle of nowhere and be a baker?”  
 
Yes, yes, yes…  My heart raced when I read those words. This is everything I want.  I had just moved back to the city, but in a month’s time here I was already disappointing 100 friends, borrowing $500 from my sister to drive two days to get to this mysterious and thrilling place called ‘Mazama’ for a summer job.  What most would call irresponsible is just how this seeker rolls.  I trust my intuition.  I follow the signs and listen to my guides. I am always where I am supposed to be.
 
I’ve been a contemplative person my whole life and I’ve always sought the spiritual, but to sum up my time here feels overwhelming.  It would require a novel and seven years of hindsight.  What I can say around 500 words, is that when I think of the past four and a half years— everything I didn’t know, who I was and who I would become, the word that resonates is Gratitude.’  My heart runneth over with this word.  
 
Thank you mountains for grounding me with your omnipotence, majestic size and beauty.  Thank you rivers for your crisp, cool water whose constant, clear movement reminds of my own cleansing and renewal.  Thank you light for the way you come through my windows, waking me with warmth and giving me hope for each day.  
 
Thank you trees for your roots that plunge deep and powerfully through the earth reminding me of your wisdom that lasts longer than the span of my meager life. Thank you blue skies for reminding me of goodness, the air in my lungs as life and the reminder that this world we’ve been given is a gift.  Thank you quiet of the woods for being the most amazing friend— allowing me to hear my thoughts clearly and for making my prayers easily accessible to God.   
 
Thank you for helping me become a woman that would take a chance on unexpected love— marrying some weirdo with different colored eyes and crazy hair.  Thank you for teaching me that the impossible is possible, buying my first house and with my honey, making it a home.  Thank you for bringing me teachers that would train and guide my creativity into delicious treats and weekly columns.  Thank you for the courage to start a family.  And thank you readers, for allowing me to share my journey with you.  
 
I knew with everything in me I was supposed to move to Mazama.  It is with this same knowing that we say goodbye.  I have no idea what the future holds in the mountains of California— without jobs, without a place to live, not much saved and a baby on the way.  But if I’ve learned anything, it is that we are always taken care of beyond our greatest expectations.  I’ve learned that God laughs at our plans anyway and, instead,  gives us what we need.  I’ve learned that change can be a huge catalyst for incredible adventure and transformation.  If it has been anything like the past four and a half years?  With a grateful heart and running eyes, I say ‘Bring it on…’  
 
Thank you, Methow Valley.  You all have been the most amazing gift.   We love you and will miss you all!
 

One of my favorite days on Maple Pass.