Yesterday I came home in a panic. I had a deadline for the paper and a million hours of work to put into it. For a brief second, out of total anxiety, I thought, “Ugh! This is so much work! Why do I have to do this?!!”
A few seconds later, I stopped myself. It was like I’d been hit on the head. My inner voice, like the mother in the movie ‘Nebraska,’ screamed at me, ” THIS IS THE LIFE YOU WANTED, YOU BIG IDIOT.”
Just that very morning I got up early to interview a local climber for the paper which was fun, intriguing and inspiring. I came home to my super cute desk (that is FINALLY set-up) with a warm cup of coffee in hand, all perfectly dreamy. I Marie Kondo-ed my house so everything feels comforting and lovely. When I think about making my living as an artist, my romantic, cinematic visions always included a safe quiet space for writing.
When I left the bakery last year, I made a list of what I wanted my life to look like moving forward. I wanted to feel rested. I wanted to inspire and be inspired. I wanted to bring other artists into my life. I wanted to make my living as an artist so that I no longer had to work on my feet in the food industry. I want to be able to write pilots and movies, develop recipes at leisure. I want to shoot projects that are important to me and a myriad of other things.
I couldn’t believe I was living my dream that day, with cute space included, and I was about to complain about it! WHO DOES THAT???
Needless to say, I flipped a switch and suddenly I was relishing every moment. I couldn’t believe I was a writer! The day I was living was everything I had ever asked for! I felt like the end of a Lifetime movie and my happiness had a million likes on instagram.
I thought I would share this little artistic life lesson in case anyone else was about to start complaining about their dreams coming true or letting anxiety win. 😉
What do want your life to look like? Are you living that dream? If yes, do you recognize it? And if not, why? There’s always room in the day for a baby step.
Deep thoughts for us artists on Monday afternoon… xoxo.